Peace!
Praying that your hearts are as light as her feathers as you read.
Peace to the Gods and the Earth for her blessings, for allowing me to plant my feet on solid ground and to take in the breathe of life: ache.
I was in the mood for some comfort food this evening, it was one of those cravings where you are hungry and you want something but you don't know what it is: salad? (no, too cold and boring); arepas? (had some last night and wanted to go back and try the fish ones, but I had enough deep fried/stuffed street food in DR-a whole nother entry for that trip); turkey burgers? I wasn't in the mood to feel guilty over having fries and black cherry soda to go with it (I simply cannot have a turkey burger without a black cherry soda, I will compromise the fries but NEVER the soda lol). My palate and my mind began to exhaust themselves out and almost gave in and proceeded to drag me home to eat the only thing I had in the fridge: about 9 green grapes, a small bar of toblerone and some orange juice, but then it hit me: miso soup! Right at that moment- in between dirty ass Newark Penn Station and Secaucus Junction my tongue ignored the smell of rusted metal, shit and old freezer that seems to smack your nostrils whenever you are in that part of Jersey; all my senses cared about was some miso soup, maybe a spicy tuna roll and some tempura. The little fat boy that lives inside of me was excited, we were on our way to enjoy a meal we were blessed to have chosen, I am super grateful for the means which provide me with the flexibility to spoil my senses and the motor skills to enjoy every part of my meal.
I finally sat down and enjoyed my soup (it was DEE lish! thanks for the recommendation Marc, we def have to hit it up asap). I always add white rice to it (it's a Dominican thang, we always need white rice with our soups), but it's a meticulous process-I carefully stir in about a quarter size clump of that sticky rice with the black specs in it (anyone know what they are?) onto the oval-shaped ladle thingy they serve the soup with. I do not want rice in the bowl with the soup I want it on the lady thingy-weird but it's me! Just like I recreated that soup and made it mine, something I could enjoy, I transformed it in an unconventional way that helped me feel comfortable and warm and safe, I feel like we can all do just that with EVERYTHING in life, including change. My soup endeavor this evening helped me realize that life is all about recreating oneself, staying flexible-both feet firmly planted on the ground, but flexible nonetheless. Taking something new or foreign and adding our own personal touch to it in order to make it familiar and us. You may think you know it all at 27, 17, 30 but we can never know it 'all' because to me, 'all' doesn't exist: how can it when the only constant is change? At 27 I may think that I will always be in the field of Public Policy, that I will have the same people in my support system or that I will always live in Brooklyn, but we never know where the winds of change may take us. Being comfortable is dangerous and keeps so many of us in check, fearing what's out there.
Let's look at change this way: There is nothing 'worse' than an alarm going off on a cold Monday morning at 6:35am while you are drooling under your warm covers. As you peel them off all you feel is the bitter, uninviting cold awaiting you to step into it. We fuss and fight and snooze but have to inevitably enter it and go to school, to work, to drop the baby off or just to simple LIVE or we can choose to stay in bed, stuck and 'comfortable' fearing the cold that we just cannot get around.
During uncertain and unstable times in our lives (the economy has hit close to home with a number of friends and family getting laid off and with possible cuts being announced at my job) we need to be ready for change and ready to take whatever the universe sends us. We gotta make a lemonade out of them lemons or in my case a sweet sweet limeaide like my Mama Cilila makes for me OR you can dare to be adventurous and make a Caipirinha out of em suckas, but this takes guts, creativity and lots of flexibility. Whether you are laid off (I will send a prayer for you all), applying to Graduate school, starting a new relationship, grieving a lost or just simply re-evaluating your life trust that all will work out if you just open up to change.
I can safely say that everyone reading this has met some sort of change in their life/path (disguised as adversity) and although we may have fought it because it was uncomfortable, painful and sometimes even heart wrenching at the time (break ups suck..uugghh!!) in hindsight-which is a mothaf#$#-we can see how much we grew and how that particular situation led us to look at life differently. It may have lead us into a new field of work, a new city or even new (better, stronger, sexier) arms to embrace us and love us unconditionally :p.
Change is scary and unsafe and unwanted if we fight it; if we resist it than all of these toxins we attach to change persist. If only we (including myself) shift our perception and look at that glass of limeaide half-full than it's amazing how the universe finally starts to work in our favor and turns things around for us in positive ways.
Someone may be reading this and my be feeling as lost as I am now (hence my reason to write this entry) but I assure you that we are not alone and I promise you that all will work out if only we get out of the way and let God take control of our lives. God, Allah, Jah, the Universe, our Creator etc. provide us with the flexibility that we need if we only allow them to, if we let go of our control issues and just leave things be. Always trusting that there is a divine plan and that every single thing you need will be revealed to you along the way EXACTLY when you need it: not a minute earlier nor a minute later.
If you ask me all of this is driven by fear and I recently learned fear can make you do two things: send you soaring into the air to meet up with the you that you were destined to be or keep you stuck and scared under your covers, living in poisonous melancholy for what 'was' or those could'ves would'ves and should'ves some of us love so much.
Thanks to the universe for allowing me to express myself through this site and thanks again to all those who read my words and take this journey called life with me. It's all about each one teach one, what I've learned and has helped me heal I teach as I pray you all do the same. It's all about raising the collective consciousness to a level where we are free from self-limiting, self-sabotaging behavior.
Until my next post...
Shine yo lights
