As I sit here and type this here post I am in the beginning stages of ovulation (real men don't turn away now) and this beautiful, needed, healthy phase of my cycle is what led me to share these thoughts with you. My body is preparing itself for the most delicate stage during the month for a womyn, where I am more in touch with myself and with nature. For me, there is no other way to feel more alive then to menstruate. Here in this phase is where I cleanse, create, and live...and it's also a phase that has been almost ostracized from our culture. Now let me make some things clear: I don't sit here and anticipate my cycle, there are days when it's not fun... it's not like I am going to shoot an info-mercial in my white jeans walking in the park with my partner, or better yet: horseback riding on some beach smiling during the best day for all of us...the 2nd one! But it's also not something that puts a halt on my daily functions, causes me to spit fire out of my mouth and smoke from my ears. For me, at the end of the day it just IS, period ;). I am also aware that some sistahs have 'special' periods where prescription medicine and at least two days of rest is required, or there may be other illnesses tied into an irregular period; I just ask that everyone takes this entry in with a grain of salt.
Most womyn give me that 'your full of shit' look whenever the topic of menstruation comes up (more often than not fellas) and I tell them that for the last three years I have not taken a pain killer nor a diuretic for my cramps. I just don't feel it's necessary- I tell them..you're fucking crazy-they tell me. But I ain't bullshitting. I have been able to work with my body and not against it and have had some of the best periods as an adult (some sistahs are probably reading this like: 'best' and 'period' should never be used in the same sentence...but they can sistahs they can!).
Dominicans are some superstitious mofo's: don't put your purse on the floor or you'll lose all you're money, don't open the fridge after you've been ironing or your face will get all distorted; don't sweep over a womyn's feet or she will marry old. When I was a kid none seem more ridiculous then those attributed to la luna (literally translates into the moon but it is used to describe the menstrual cycle). These are the 'ground rules' that a young Dominican womyn must follow after she is honored enough to 'matar el chivo' (kill the goat-as your initial period is called...don't ask me cause I don't know where these two things came together lol). Rule #1: Don't wash your hair when you're on your period. I never got this one, sistahs would agree with me when I say that during those 4, 5, 6, 7 (yikes!!!) days you want to take extra long baths and showers and take good care of your body, and that includes washing your hair.
Rule #2: Don't paint your nails when you're on your period
Rule #3: Don't mess with harsh chemicals a few days before and while on your period. These include (but are not limited to lol): detergents (easy off and comet were your enemies), bleach, spray paints, nail polish and nail polish removers (see rule #2), etc.
Rule #4: Don't walk around barefoot EVER, ESPECIALLY when you're on your period.
Although I've made an exception for numbers 1 and 4, 2 and 3 are always followed...ALWAYS!! Going against these two have proven detrimental time and time again. Whenever I mess with harsh deteregents prior to my period I am a hot mess. It is much more intense, longer and painful, so i've learned my lesson and I steer clear of these things. I have gone days with chipped hot pink nail polish (my DR 2009 posse can attest to this) and I don't give a dam. I don't care what anyone else thinks about me or my nails, at the end of the day it's how Migue's going to feel. But isn't it amazing at how centered and rooted our bodies are during this phase that we get to actually feel what these harsh chemicals are doing to our bodies on the day to day. We use harsh detergents day in and day out; we already started to wake up to the affects that they are having on mama Earth and we are 'wising up'; but what about the affects that they are having on us? (men and womyn alike). The best time to understand these is when womyn are on our cycle.
Again, some sistahs may be shaking their heads in disbelief because they paint their nails and mess with harsh detergents while on their periods and they are 'fine'...but how would you know you are 'fine' if you are numbing yourself during your period?As a culture we are being anesthetized on a daily basis. Food numbs us, shopping does it for some of us, drugs, alcohol, video games, cars and the number one: tv. Most of us walk around not really feeling, not experiencing but just survivin'. We are not strivin' anymore and personally this is because we are so afraid to feel ALL of our emotions, the good and those not so good ones that lead us to crack open that bottle of beer, vodka or motrin. And I'm right there with some of ya, even the thought of any form of pain (be if physical or emotional) is scary. We restrict ourselves from feeling and in the process we cannot be whole; being whole means being balanced, and balance includes the smile and the frown, clarity and confusion, relief and pain. You ever wondered what would happen if we just let things be? If we allowed ourselves to just feel? If instead of running for the motrin, midol, diurex, pamprin we just sat and breathed through the cramps. Or we got down on a yoga mat and inhaled into cow and exhaled into cat? (yes these are real poses lol). We can overcome that pain and turn it into pure sensation, we don't have to charge it as negative but just let it be and let it ride out and see what happens-I have hopes that we will grow stronger, we won't be broken down.
I've had conversations with sistahs who purposefully get on birthcontrol just to 'control' their periods, so that they are few and far between; they want to go on with life without having to deal with the 'thing'. This goes out to the YAZ', the orthos (high and low), and my homegirls the depos whose period is kept somewhere in her body without seeing the light of day for up to 5 years! But I ask them and myself: where does all of that blood go? It HAS to go somewhere, right? Oh wait I know, I just saw the YAZ commercial a few weeks ago and the lady with the 'micro-machine guy' voice towards the end of the commercial stated that some of the 24 side effects includes-but are not limited to-nose bleeds, blood clots in the legs, and/or coughing up blood. What kills me is that some of us do not want to bleed from one, very natural area but we don't mind bleeding from other, less natural ones like our nose and mouth. It seems a bit backwards to me, doesn't it?Or we prefer to numb the discomforts (I choose not to charge it with a negative word like pain) of something as natural as our periods, that is completely ours, but we will deal with someone else's discomfort, the PAIN inflicted by an outside source: boyfriend/girlfriend, career, friend, etc.
I don't intend on being some martyr, dealing with discomfort just to show others that it's doable or just to prove a point to anyone but myself. I assure you I don't just 'deal' with my discomfort, I AM my discomfort, I am my period, I am my tender breast, my bloated belly, my lower back ache. My period and everything she comes with is a part of me just as much as every other 'desirable' aspects of me are: from my clitoris, to my orgasms and my hips-my period is right there, just as sexy as the other parts of me. I am aware that I have not had children (which I hear can completely change your cycle), I don't have a serious health issue that f#$# my period up (thank god) I'm just writing from experiences up to date. I am writing because I want us all to take our power back, and just like with everything else, it starts with self. Take back the power to feel and just be, discomfort and all; to allow all those emotions to flow through your body and see how you feel. I dare you all to become alchemist and transform your discomfort, bloating and fatigue into strength courage and wisdom ;).
Here are a few tips on how to prep (or how to help a loved one prep).
Definitely follow rules #2 and 3 above, lol. Your body is super sensitive during your period but believe it or not it can be much more sensitive right after ovulation, days before your period. Before I proceed I must ask, how many of us know how to track our periods? You'd be surprised at how many womyn don't know how to do it. I learned how to track my cycle when I was 21 years old! It's simple but many of us don't know how. You count 28 days from your first period, for example: if you got your period today, August 20th, you would count 28 days from today (or 4 weeks on a calendar) this means that on or around September 17th you will be on your next period. If you get this you can save some money on motrin and thermacare, etc ;).
We should be taking care of ourselves regularly but we need to be extra careful during the few days leading to our periods. Drinks lots of water, and please stay away from sugar and CAFFEINE!! One of my dear sistah-friends is hooked on pepsi and this addiction becomes intervention-esque during her period lol. She claims she needs a can of pepsi but is later paying for it. Although chocolate and sweets have been attributed to PMSing they are causing us to feel sick...remember this! Get your 8hours+ of sleep, and EXERCISE. This is crucial. The cat and cow poses mentioned above are great for cramps (I just typed in cat and cow pose on youtube and a bunch of videos popped up). With these poses comes another beneficial component: breathing. But through it all the number one thing that will help you with this is YOU. Being in touch with your body is what is going to help you be healthy enough to have healthier periods with less discomfort. Meditation has helped me a lot, not as much as I'd like because I have what Buddhas call a monkey mind where my thoughts don't sit still for 3 seconds, they swing around in my head, but slowly but surely as I say.
My reason for this entry was to help us all wake a certain part (or parts) or our bodies up; to cause a shift in the collective consciousness and for us to start to change the way we think about this beautiful, inevitable, life-giving phase in our lives. I hope it will help open up some third eyes (whether yours or mine...I am open to questions, comments or concerns) which in turn will allow us to move past our fears and into our true, balanced selves.
Signing off...
M.
