ROYGBIV

The more amicably you greet trouble, the sooner he will go away. – Artemus Ward...


good evening familia. happy monday to everyone. it's been a while since i blessed my soul with a little 'writing therapy'; i've allowed academic work to take hold for a while but i still can't live without my 'prose'.the quote above came to me this past week as part of my 'word of the week' from unity of new york (the spiritual center i am a part of now, and one experience that has changed my life...but that's a whole other post). this quote spoke volumes to me for many reasons; i've witnessed, first handedly, human beings can complicate our own lives. we huff and puff and hem and haw when 'life' is happening, we b#%# so much about change that all of a sudden we find ourselves with an Erlenmeyer flask in one hand and a bunson burner in another- we've become the mad scientist, converting simple, healthy, UNAVOIDABLE change into drama! we make a mountain out of a small little anthill. i assure ya, i was one of those. i suffered from what i called 'the VCR syndrome', i would replay drama in my mind over and over and over; i would share my drama with anyone who was ready to listen, i wrote about it in my journal, i replayed the event(s) in my head and even added extra actors, and outfits and scenarios. sometimes i was the protagonist, but most of the time i was a mere victim of circumstance! during that time in my life, i felt as if life was happening TO ME as opposed to THROUGH ME.
although i am not a pink floyd fan ( i can't tell you what they sing, or who they are, all i know is that supposedly their 'Darker Side of the Moon' album and The Wizard of Oz correspond with each other; if you play the album as the movie starts, it will play in synch with the movie: coooll right?) i LOVE their album cover with the prism on it; it's just so powerful to see how a tiny spec of light, when filtered through a prism, can reflect the beautiful rainbow god blessed us with. the same can go for us: we can choose to be beautiful, clear, DRAMA FREE prisms, reflecting light and ROYGBIV, or you can be opaque, dull and clouded with what so and so did to you, how the late train effed your day up, how 'life is not fair' , WHY is it raining on a Wednesday god?!?etc. etc. etc.
i've learned that 'SURRENDER' is the name of the game. i've been practicing yoga for close to three years now, i've done many styles, on many colored-mats, in hot smelly rooms, quiet ones and in the privacy of my own home; i've stretched my body in ways i didn't even know i could-one time I even balanced my entire body on one toe (the right big-toe to be exact), and although these were challenging positions i pushed through the pain and the limiting beliefs and did it (yyeahh migue!) BUT when it came to Savasana, i couldn't hang. at first glance it seems super easy: savasana is the pose where you simply lay down face up on your mat, palms up and breathing normally. they usually ask you not to fidget and to try and be still: yeah right!! that is the moment when my ego goes buck wild: first my nose itches-so i scratch, then the itch transfers to my right brow, i take care of that, I get annoyed at this itch that has 'taken over my body' but it soon goes away-thank god. i go back to center, breathe in and as i am about to exhale the waist line of my yoga pants starts rolling down my hip, exposing my tiny pot belly i had masked so well! ladies (and some gentleman) you KNOW what i'm talking about: there is a certain 'place' where our pants feel comfortable and serve as a Monet- in the mirror it looks as if my waist shrunk 2 inches: cool! but if it rolls down about half an inch too low, that coco-cola bottle figure starts to feel more like a frozen two liter, oozing chunks of frozen soda out onto the sides of the bottle once opened...yeah that's how it can feel, and i ain't crazy i KNOW i'm not the only one ;).
i role my pants back up and take care of my 'frozen coca-cola' syndrome- now it's back to savasna: oommmmmmmmmm! i rearrange the towel under me, face my palms up again and come back to center only to be greeted by the same itch but now it's moved to my left collar bone...aaayyyiiii!!
ALL this just to show you how HARD the SIMPLE act of Savasna = Surrender truly is! our control issues take hold and we let the itch, the yoga pant, the mat, the job, the inconsiderate friend, the late train, the rude waiter, etc...get the best of us instead of surrendering! we feel like it's our job to do do do, to 'fix' things (sometimes it ain't even our own ish we wanna fix but that of our mama's, our partners, or when we feel the need to 'check' someone )...why can't we just be?


at times i find myself writing about the same 'stuff':change, life, love, surrender, etc, but i can't help it folks. i see children of god getting in the way of their own good: why? why can't we just trust god and surrender to her/his/their/its will? (i'm tryna be politically correct ya'll! bear with me lol)they know what they are doing, why they are doing it, with whom and more importantly WHEN! todo a su devido tiempo, everything has its season and happens exactly when it's supposed to, in divine order.

my mom taught me that life is not about simply living it, but about KNOWING how to live it. and i never got what she meant when she used to tell me that at the tender age of 7, lol (dominicans have no filter for age, they school you on life at an early age) but at 28 i get it - eureka!! knowing how to live it, is knowing when to gracefully bow out, let go and let God!!


i sign off of this post with this one request:
the next time change happens in your life (whether small scale like a late train, or bigger like a job loss), instead of being a VCR, why not be a Prism?

light!